Offline or Overload? In Case of Emergency...

Now that we have reviewed the entire relational spectrum, it's time to see how, in this context, the brain works in conjunction with MDNA gifts.

As we know, the brain has two halves. Left brain and right brain. Without getting into too much neurological detail, and for the sake of MDNA, we have labelled each side of the brain with a label based upon its generalized function:

• Left Brain = Truth in Action
• Right Brain = Joyful Relationships

Truth in Action to Offline

The UCD, SSA, and KWR can have a tendency to operate only in truth in action mode, and therefore, risk going offline. Going offline means your left brain has taken over and you are only thinking about who is right or wrong. It becomes all about what you think should be done, regardless of how it affects people emotionally. In this state, people can be cranky, need to be right all the time, and care less about relationships. This doesn't have to be expressed externally either. For example. the SSA will simply move behind the scenes and just go into "servant" mode.

Joyful Relationships to Overload

On the other side, the CVS, DLF and IAF, being all about relational engagement, can go into overload. This is when you overload yourself with emotions, or you overload others with emotions using your gifts. For example, an IAF can be flooded with all the details and freeze to the point of shutdown. The DLF and CVS also tend to flood others by pushing relational boundaries too far.

And as you probably already figured out, the EIA can go either way. This also means if your gifts cover the entire spectrum, you too can go either way, depending on the situation.

In Case of Emergency

If you find yourself offline, the best action is to spend time appreciating the joy of relationships. Spend time thinking about all that you appreciate and enjoy in others. Share how you feel versus just what you think. Don't take any action. Set what you believe as truth aside for a moment. Do not isolate. Communicate. Make maintaining relational connections a priority.

For those that get overloaded, take a moment to think of one small truth and put it into action. Don't worry about all the details. Don't worry about what others should or should not be doing. Set aside your relational expectations; especially unspoken social contracts. Identify the emotions you are feeling and consider the difference between appropriate and inappropriate response. Think. Plan it out. Don't try too much.

In both cases, these exercises will do wonders for your brain. The first step is to recognize when you are offline or overloaded. This is where others can help you. Practice makes perfect.

The Relational Spectrum: 7. IAF

The order of the MDNA gifts reveals a relational spectrum. The further you are on the left, the less relational engagement is required to synchronize with your intrinsic motivation. The further to the right, the opposite is true. To be clear, everybody needs relationships to be a holistic and healthy individual. In this series we will examine each gift on the spectrum.

IAF: Intuitive Alignment & Fulfillment

Of all the gifts, the IAF requires the most social engagement for intrinsic motivation. First off, this does not mean the IAF needs to know or be known by a lot of people. In fact, many IAF will shy away from large crowds or the social spotlight. To the IAF, the most intrinsically motivating relationships are not as much wide as they need to be deep.

In essence, the IAF does not care how many people are in their social circle. Typically, they have a very tight inner circle where there is depth, authenticity, integrity and trust. This is the reason IAFs are fiercely loyal and care deeply about your feelings. They are highly intuitive of the social "vibe" and can sense when someone feels out of social alignment. If you know an IAF, the best thing you can do is share details of your life and be open to hearing theirs (when appropriate of course).

While the IAF expresses slightly differently between men and women, today, some of the greatest IAF leaders understand that relational depth is critical for success.

The Relational Spectrum: 6. DLF

The order of the MDNA gifts reveals a relational spectrum. The further you are on the left, the less relational engagement is required to synchronize with your intrinsic motivation. The further to the right, the opposite is true. To be clear, everybody needs relationships to be a holistic and healthy individual. In this series we will examine each gift on the spectrum.

DLF: Dominion Leadership & Freedom

Whether formally or not, the DLF is a natural leader. This doesn't mean the DLF has to be front and center all the time. They are just as happy leading from the back as the front. This is also how they are intrinsically motivated by social engagement.

The DLF needs the second highest social engagement to be intrinsically motivated. Again, this is by virtue. Every leader needs people around them. In fact, the best leaders know they need the best people. Therefore, social circles are very important. Furthermore, the DLF loves using his or her leadership to provide opportunity (challenge) to help others around them reach full potential.

Sometimes this means the DLF can become vilified or come across challenging because of their organized and systematic approach; especially in the face of opposition. But really, the DLF is looking for loyal relationships so you can all have each other's backs. True leadership will always make everybody greater as a group than just as individuals.

The Relational Spectrum: 5. CVS

The order of the MDNA gifts reveals a relational spectrum. The further you are on the left, the less relational engagement is required to synchronize with your intrinsic motivation. The further to the right, the opposite is true. To be clear, everybody needs relationships to be a holistic and healthy individual. In this series we will examine each gift on the spectrum.

CVS: Compelling Value & Stewardship

Make no bones about it, all CVS, unless heavily influenced by a secondary, value their independence and privacy greatly. You won't find a CVS voluntarily spilling their guts or telling you a life story. Unless of course, there is perceived value in it. To the CVS, time is just as valuable a commodity as money. Therefore, socially speaking, time is a major factor for the CVS to engage in relationships. This does not mean the CVS is not intrinsically motivated by relationships. They are.

The CVS sees value in people and believes in helping others--just not at the cost of privacy, independence and ROI. For example, if a CVS makes a donation, they prefer to do it privately and most often anonymously. Yet the donation is made because of a combination of relational connection and calculated social ROI.

In summary, the CVS being on the right side of the relational spectrum, is very intrinsically motivated by social engagement. They just may not appear to be relational on the surface (many CVS are accused of being cold and arrogant). But deep down, they can be the resourceful gift that keeps on giving in all areas of an organization.

The Relational Spectrum: 4. EIA

The order of the MDNA gifts reveals a relational spectrum. The further you are on the left, the less relational engagement is required to synchronize with your intrinsic motivation. The further to the right, the opposite is true. To be clear, everybody needs relationships to be a holistic and healthy individual. In this series we will examine each gift on the spectrum.

EIA: Empowering Inspiration & Attraction

The EIA is right in the center of the relational spectrum for good reason. This is because the EIA is typically right in the center of every social network. The EIA is highly relational, like the IAF, while, at the same time, can relate to the more non-relational gifts easily. In other words, the EIA is equally intrinsically motivated to spend 1-on-1 time as they are with the social spotlight standing in front of large crowds.

Some describe the EIA as a "party waiting to happen," which is quite often true. Most importantly, the EIA can be a "social chameleon" crossing all demographic and cultural boundaries. This is very handy when diversity is valued.

If you are an EIA here is one tip: to embrace the multitude, you must also be comfortable with solitude. In other words, the more people you want to reach and influence, the more you need to be OK spending time alone. By virtue, the wider your social vision, the more possibility there will be of some people not liking you (the stronger your vision means, quite often, the stronger the opposition will be). This simply comes with the territory of being a visionary leader. Therefore, the more comfortable you are with your own skin, by yourself, the more effective you will be with everybody else.

The Relational Spectrum: 3. KWR

The order of the MDNA gifts reveals a relational spectrum. The further you are on the left, the less relational engagement is required to synchronize with your intrinsic motivation. The further to the right, the opposite is true. To be clear, everybody needs relationships to be a holistic and healthy individual. In this series we will examine each gift on the spectrum.

KWR: Knowledgeable Wisdom & Responsibility

The KWR is closer to the middle of the MDNA spectrum when it comes to relationships. The KWR is intrinsically motivated by relationships primarily in the areas of subject matter expertise and knowledge transfer. For example, the KWR enjoys relating to others that share common interests and understanding. Another example are KWR teachers that relating to other learners through knowledge. The TV show Big Bang Theory is a great example of KWR friendships with strong subject matter bonds and educational roles (not to say all KWRs are "nerds" and "geeks" as some of the highest performing athletes are also KWR). In other words, if you want to engage a KWR, talk about something they are learning or already know well.

Still, being on the left side of the MDNA spectrum, the KWR has no issues being alone; especially taking into consideration secondary gifts. Again, this is about intrinsic motivation. The KWR will always be intrinsically motivated by social engagement more than the UCD or SSA. Another aspect that makes the KWR very sociable is their sense of humor, which may not be for everybody, but makes them approachable in their own unique ways.

The Relational Spectrum: 2. SSA

The order of the MDNA gifts reveals a relational spectrum. The further you are on the left, the less relational engagement is required to synchronize with your intrinsic motivation. The further to the right, the opposite is true. To be clear, everybody needs relationships to be a holistic and healthy individual. In this series we will examine each gift on the spectrum.

SSA: Sacrificial Service & Authority

Although the SSA can be very relational, in actuality, they don't need as much relational engagement to be intrinsically motivated. However, unlike the UCD, the SSA cannot be completely alone. This is based upon the fact that the SSA is intrinsically motivated to build a platform of success underneath others over themselves.

That being said, the SSA is not as motivated by people's feelings as much as needs. An SSA is willing to simply execute because it must be done. This is the reason SSAs can be so effective. They don't need relational reasons to drive their actions. This gives them the ability to "hug porcupines," which basically means, regardless of feelings, an SSA will help anybody.

This also doesn't mean the SSA has to be friendly when doing their job. The most mature and synchronized SSAs "walk softly but swing a big stick." In other words, they have no issues using authority and making sure you are successful no matter how you feel about it. In this regard, they are true servant leaders.

The Relational Spectrum: 1. UCD

The order of the MDNA gifts reveals a relational spectrum. The further you are on the left, the less relational engagement is required to synchronize with your intrinsic motivation. The further to the right, the opposite is true. To be clear, everybody needs relationships to be a holistic and healthy individual. In this series we will examine each gift on the spectrum.

UCD: Unyielding Conviction & Design

The UCD needs the least relational engagement to be intrinsically motivated. In other words, the UCD is completely fine being alone and can stay effective. They are very happy being completely autonomours. In fact, the UCD needs the most time alone to recharge.

Don't be surprised if the UCD would rather go home after work and isolate themselves for some "silence and darkness." Or if they seem to avoid meetings that are for the sole purpose of chemistry and bonding, it is totally normal. They are not rejecting people or being unloving at all. They will be just fine.

At the same time, don't let the UCD get too isolated. The UCD may think they need some alone time, but really connecting with another person is necessary. As you can see by the spectrum, the UCD has a strong potential to go relationally offline quickly. The UCD tends to take him or herself pretty seriously. Going out and getting some (relational) fresh air is healthy.